Posts Tagged ‘ drinking ’

oy oy oy

Everything you’re about to read is more than likely false because you are on the internet. However science is best science and nothing here is false but might turn out to be false further down the line making this assumption both true and false giving us a false positive…or something.

Lots going on today, in my opinion most importantly we have a trachea being replaced by a completely synthetic one. No, no. Not like a pacemaker but one grown from stem cells, aw shit. Which of course means it has a zero percent chance of being rejected by the body which also means they don’t have to take pills every single day of their lives. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! This essentially means I am free to drink and so long as I dont die in a plane/car/boat/motorcycle/scooter accident I should be a-ok to drink as heavily as I want because by the time my liver dies they should be able to print me out a new one for me to torture.

But seriously this is the first completely synthetic organ transplant. Many people would think the trachea is not an organ but those people would be wrong. Your skin is an organ! Anyways, the potential for this in the future is actually quite astonishing, besides me being able to abuse my liver twice.

Also in stem-cell research today is they managed to restore cognitive functions in a persons brain who lost it due to chemotherapy. I dont even think I need to say anything about this one besides, science is jawesome. This is right up there with them treating a guys burns with stem cells to regrow his skin. This is the future, where we can turn on parts of the brain or fix our bodies without the suffering, and major skin grafts or other horrifying things.

Also MIT is printing solar panels on paper now, imagine the potential uses for this. The days of bulky expensive solar panels may soon be coming to an end, and by that I mean probably not for decades. The face one day I might not even need to plug something into the wall or go out to buy batteries fills me and my pocket with joy and money…for me to drink with and ruin my liver.

This is the future, boy howdy did I make a mistake not becoming a scientist so I could be a part of this wonderful time instead of just being a bystander watching through the window.