The ramblings of a madman

I realize dear children that I am going to be late for this party since Bulletstorm came out in what? Febuary? January? But it is probably one of the most hilarious games I’ve ever seen. I say seen because I was an impartial observer to it, I watched my brother play because well…my hands are not good with controllers. Now hand me a mouse and keyboard and I will lavish upon you miracles.

The dialog for the game is hilarious, and I mean that in the best fashion possible. No allow me to quote one of my favorite lines in the entire game for you, because I know you will be impressed just as I was:

Trishka: Yeah? Go fuck yourself! You shit piles give chase, I will kill your dicks!
Gray: What? What does thet even mean? Your gonna kill my dick? I’ll kill your dick! How bout that, huh?

That…wow. I lost it and my brother actually had to pause the game because we were both laughing so hard. This is just one of the conversations that come to mind. I honestly see them just shoving the characters that would be talking into a sound booth and telling them to improvise with the most hilarious bullshit they could come up with. What happens is nothing short, for me anyways, of complete perfection.

From that you should know the game does not try to be serious AT ALL. No. It is an over the top frag fest where you try to butcher your enemies in the most ridiculous ways possible. Like:

• Grabbing an enemy with the leash and kicking him into a cactus.
• Kicking an enemy into a giant venus flytrap.
• Kicking head eating pods onto enemies.
• Crushing enemies witha giant dinosaur.

There are literally a “ton” of different ways to kill enemies and done with some of the best most outrageous weapons that I’ve seen in a long time. Come on a drill bore? Oh yes please. Bulletstorm I enjoy your ultraviolent ways.

My brother complains about the controls but I understand. I do know that there are generally accepted buttons which should be used for things like sprinting and crouching and kind of stuff but that was pretty much the end of the complaints I heard. But the game for both of us even me watching was some kind of hilarious and was just a orgy of action and carnage with a bit of expletives thrown in for good measure.

I wish it wasn’t as expensive as it was but I will probably pick it up when it comes down in price just a bit.